‘As empaths, we are not here to be sponges or enablers. We are here to be helpers, guides, and supporters.’
~ Aletheia Luna, Awakened Empath.
All human beings emit and absorb psychological and emotional energy, whether we know it or not. We all have empathic abilities, the ability to deeply connect with the feelings of another, and some feel these energies stronger than others.
Often times strong feelings of anxiousness come when being in the presence of someone who themselves carries lots of pain, sadness or anger, as our empathic energies realize that we too will be deeply experiencing the same feelings as them while we are near.
There are both positive and negative sides to this beautiful coin of being an empath.
The positive side is that being an empath means one can detect and understand the feelings and energy of others on quite a deep level. This enables them to be spectacular healers, as they can accurately sense what it is that’s bothering another person, and by using love can help them to find peace. Helping others to consciously focus the feeling of love and compassion onto themselves by lovingly accepting and embracing their hurt parts allows them to heal.
The potentially negative side of being an empath is that their energies can often easily be affected by the strong painful emotions of others, and their energy can quickly be drained. Without taking time for proper self-care to rejuvenate and replenish, the empath risks becoming an empty container, and staying in this state for too long can bring about a high amount of stress.
But there are ways to deal with the difficulties of being an empath, and they should be utilized to remain calm, peaceful and balanced. Empaths are not just sensitive people, but they are those who with the proper training and practice of certain skills can become incredible healers for people and for the planet Earth. The following guide will empower the empath to become the best, healthy, happy and healing version of themselves.
Here are 5 ways to become a healer and to avoid absorbing pain as an empath:
1. Build Self-Compassion
Self-esteem and self-worth are highly needed for the empath, as the painful feelings of others they experience at a high level can confuse their minds that these feelings are their own. When an empath’s self-worth or self-esteem is low, they can easily take-on harmful feelings, energies and beliefs from other people. The key to protecting themselves from this cycle is through the practice of self-compassion.
Self-compassion is a combination of self acceptance, focused loving thoughts towards one’s self and focused loving feelings toward’s one’s self. Self-compassion is unconditional acceptance of all aspects of one’s self. Accept yourself as ‘okay’ just the way you are, and your self-esteem will begin to improve. Self-compassion, also known as self-love begins with the understanding that ‘I am enough, just the way I am right now.’ This one powerful phrase allows a person’s mind and feelings to accept whatever thoughts or feelings they are currently having as ‘okay’ and as natural expressions of their underlying needs.
These healthy thoughts are followed by a conscious focus on the heart feelings; the love within the heart. Begin by first identifying the feeling of love in your heart. You can repeat to yourself, “Love, Love, Love,” until the feeling grows and you can easily feel it. Then begin bringing that love to each individual part of your body, especially the parts of your body that feel aches, tension or pain; “I love my back, I love my arms, I love my body.” It’s important to also bring the real feeling of love into painful memories of the past, focusing your love onto the you of the past that was hurting, or struggling. When you spend enough time focusing your self-compassion on the you from within the painful experiences of the past, these parts of you will begin to wonderfully open and soften, feeling tremendously relieved, and over time they will heal.
2. Learn To Warmly Let Go
Holding onto ideas and experiences from the past that had shaken or wounded an empath can continue to feed the depletion of their energy. While letting go is similar to peeling the many layers of an onion, layer by layer it slowly refreshes and heals one’s self.
The key to learning how to let go is through the understanding of a certain truth about life; that everything in life and in existence is impermanent. Everything that exists is ever changing, ever moving, has a beginning and has an end. Whether you’re looking at a large mountain, or a coffee cup, at a certain point in time that object will change, it may be after a few minutes, a few years, or a few million years, but it will not be the same as it is now. Everything that exists is made up of atoms and energy that are constantly moving, and they will not be the same after a certain amount of time has passed.
When we seek to hold onto the idea of something in our minds, we are trying to make what we once observed become a permanent thing. If we really like our coffee cup, and always want it to be shiny and beautiful and new, after a few years when it gets a little worn, dirty or even broken, it will cause us suffering, because the nature of life of change upsets the idea we’ve held onto of our once perfect and new coffee cup. This coffee cup can be a relationship, a desire, a family member, it could be anything that is being held on to. By learning to let go of our idea that things as they are now always need to be the same, we learn to embrace the changes that occur in life as natural and as okay. Energy does not stand still, if it did it would be stagnant, and stagnant energy is often unhealthy. Energy always changes, so let go of the idea of holding onto things as they once were, and warmly embrace each new day as it comes. Let go of the idea of holding onto what is impermanent and free yourself from this cause of suffering.
3. Be Optimistic While Respecting Your Own Boundaries; Turn The Negative Energy Of Others Into Positive Energy
Empaths can sometimes get dragged into the negative feelings of others, absorbing their pains and harmful feelings. As your inner strength grows from the practice of self-compassion and letting go, you begin to be ready to be a healer.
Instead of only absorbing the pain, begin to stay grounding in your heart and body, and try to understand the situation. What exactly about this person’s demeanor or energy is causing the feelings of anxiety or tension. It may be that this person easily yells at others, or is very harsh or critical of themselves and of others, or has a deep depression that they are currently experiencing. If you’re in a good space and feel in your heart the urge to help them, then this is a good time to try and understand their situation and to lend a kind and caring ear.
Show the person that you care by listening with empathy, reflecting back to them what you hear, and without judgment. Ask open-ended questions that allow them to talk about what it is that is bothering them, and provide a safe space for them to gain clarity over their own feelings and situation. Often times people in deep pain can feel tremendous relief just from being listened to by someone who genuinely understands and cares. You don’t need to have advice for them, just let them express themselves.
It’s important to also know your limits and to pay attention to your own energy. If the other person begins to criticize or verbally abuse you in some way, this is where you draw a healthy boundary for yourself and for the other person to learn from and end the conversation. No one is being served in a loving way when one is hurting another, so if this happens it’s the best choice to simply walk away and maintain your energy for the next time.
4. Help Others Love Themselves And See Themselves Compassionately
While it’s important for you as an empath to love yourself, it’s also important to encourage and show others the way that they too can love themselves. This is how you can heal them.
Practice self-compassion until you are able to regularly maintain the feeling of love within your heart. It will then begin to emanate from you in the most beautiful way, and help to heal the lives of others. Help others to see the same beauty that you see in them, encourage them to love themselves and teach them that they are good enough just they way they are. When seeds of kindness are given, they grow into very beautiful trees of lasting love, and those you help will likely help many others down the road in their lives.
5. Stay Calm
Regardless of how stressful the energy or situation is, or how much tension another brings into your energy sphere, do your best to remain calm. If it becomes overwhelming, you can physically walk to a different location and practice some calm inducing breathing techniques. Simply breathe in and out while counting to 4 on the inhale and the exhale. This technique will naturally relax your body, and you should find yourself in a safer space to rejuvenate.
Empaths have a deep and caring love in their hearts, and become some of the greatest healers that we know. Do your best to maintain your beautiful and loving energy, and help light the way for others you meet on your path. We are cheering for you.
Did any of these techniques help you?
Let us know in the comments.
You are loved.