“Often times I have people ask me how my ex, his wife, my husband and I co-parent so flawlessly. My answer is always the same– We just love our daughter.?
Seriously, it’s just that simple.
We all love her, and nothing will ever change that.
No child deserves to be tossed around back and forth, used as a bargaining chip, or to be put in the middle of any adult drama. She didn’t choose to be born, and she certainly never chose for her parents to get divorced.
Why would we make her life harder by making her choose which set of parents to love?
My daughter calls her bonus mommy ‘Mommy’.. and you know what? That’s okay, because that’s what she is to her, she IS her mommy. She is there for her always, she takes care of her, she plays with her, she teaches her life lessons and how she should behave, she gives her hugs and kisses goodnight, she does everything any mother would do.. But most of all she loves her like she is her own. It takes a very special woman to take a child that they didn’t give birth to, under their wing and become their mother.
I see so many women say ‘I would never let my child call another woman mom or mommy, because she’s NOT her mom, I AM!’
Well you know what? If you are lucky enough for your ex to have a woman who loves YOUR child or children like their own, and one who helps raise them and shape them, why would you not allow them to call a woman they love mommy? Why would you put your child in the position to feel like they have to choose who they love?
I would never tell my daughter she can’t call her bonus mommy ‘mommy’ because it would hurt her deeply. She is her mommy not only when she spends time with her dad, but all the time.
Sometimes you just have to put the petty little things aside, to raise your child to be the amazing human being they are meant to be.
My daughter isn’t the only one who loves her bonus mommy, I love her too. She’s become one of my best friends and I rely on her for many things. She is one of the strongest people I know, and I am thankful for her everyday.
Don’t tell me that peaceful co-parenting isn’t possible, because it is.
I know it is. Because I do it everyday.
It takes a village to raise a child, and I am beyond thankful for my village!
Pictured- Our daughter and her two mommies walking her to her classroom on the first day of school.”
Story courtesy of Hayley Booth.
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