There are certain habits which happy and long-lasting couples practice each and every day to help support each other and their relationship. These habits, rather than feeling like effort or work, become joyous attitudes and labors of love that allow couples to feel grateful, appreciated and deeply blessed.
Both partners deeply love and care for one another in a relationship, yet we’re not always taught what couples who stay together do on a daily basis to enrich each other and to seed satisfying lives. Read the 4 habits below that lasting couples practice, and if you and your partner aren’t using some of them yet, then make sure to give them a try!
Here Are 4 Habits Of Couples That Last:
1. They Focus More On What Their Partner Does Right, Rather Than On What They Do Wrong
When we look for things our partner does wrong, it’s always possible to find something. Yet if we look for what they are doing right, we can also always find something, and it feels a whole lot better! The important thing is what do we want to look for?
Couples that last tend to focus on and encourage the positive with each other. When both partners point out each other’s good points, beautiful aspects and beloved characteristics, the natural response is love. And the bonus is; what we focus on, grows. By encouraging the positive and appealing points in each other, we grow our self-esteem in these areas and tend to create these positive actions more.
While it’s natural to also find one another’s faults and quirks, when pointing them out, try to keep the healthy ratio of mentioning at least 3 positive things for each 1 fault that you share with your loved one. This helps your partner know that you appreciate their positive qualities more than you’re upset about their mistakes.
2. They Go To Bed At The Same Time
In the beginning of most relationships, couples are excited to go to bed with each other; to be intimate, to make love. Happy couples that last do what they can to make sure they go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later or earlier than the other. When partners have close contact together each night, this allows a healthy bonding of intimacy and trust to take place, and helps to keep them together long term.
3. They Communicate Lovingly
Couples that last communicate lovingly, gently and non-judgmentally. They both listen to what each other say, and take the time to reflect back to their partner what they heard them say, allowing acceptance and intimacy to take place, and especially that “oh you really heard me” feeling that is so important in a dear relationship.
When a partner becomes upset or frustrated, they do not blame their lover. Rather they take responsibility for their own feelings, and express their needs using clear, non-judgmental “I” statements, thereby avoiding any hurt that would be caused by name-calling or criticism. Couples that last do everything they can to build each other up, rather than tear each other down.
4. They Make Trust And Forgiveness Their Default Mode
If and when long-lasting couples have a disagreement or an argument, and if they can’t resolve it in one conversation, they default to trusting and forgiving one another rather than distrusting and begrudging. Their good feelings for one another have built up mighty emotional bank accounts with each other, so that the withdrawal of an argument does not even phase the overall account.
Their deepest interests are to help each other grow in love, and they do this by having trust and forgiveness be part of the foundation of their relationship. Two people who really love each other, under normal and healthy circumstances, gladly forgive each other, because they have each other’s best interests at heart.
Do you have a favorite habit that has helped your relationship last?
Let us know and others know in the comments.
You are Loved.