Introverts are often described as people who are able to replenish and gain energy when spending time alone, and need to spend energy when in large groups of people and/or engaging in social events.
Solitude is an essential and healing time for them, representing much more than just a preference. Time to rest, explore their own interests, and regain emotional stamina is vital for an introverts happiness and health. As Cheryl Strayed once said, “Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren’t a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was.”
Many introverts have a difficult time making sense of their experiences in social gatherings, and in finding their place in the world in general, as most societies have built a culture that is highly geared towards extroversion and that gives rewards and value to those who work together and play together in groups.
Many parties and social gatherings exist with the intention of everyone breaking into small groups, where they can talk about recent events, sports, the weather, which to an introvert often translates to spending their valuable energy discussing surface level and somewhat shallow topics. It’s in these moments they might find it very important to find out if there’s a pet they can play with, or a snack bar to go to. Small talk takes a lot of energy to them, and their interests and passions usually lie in deeper subjects.
However, despite appearances, Introverts don’t dislike people. They just dislike shallow socializing.
And therein lies the problem that introverts face on a weekly basis: how can they socialize while maintaining their energy levels, and engage in deep and meaningful conversations rather than topics that do not make themselves or the world a better place.
Being an introvert definitely does not mean that one wants to be alone all the time. Introverts desire real and meaningful relationships, just as much as extroverts do, and when it comes down to it, sometimes introverts just have endure the pain and start with some small talk, in order to move on to deeper conversations of their passions, dreams in life, and real interests. The dilemma introverts face is that they really do want to be around people, but have a delicate balance of and limited reserve of emotional energy to spend in social settings.
For an Introvert, Socializing Isn’t Just a Way to Pass the Time
For many lovable introverts, there’s a natural tendency to always want every interaction to be about establishing a deep connection, but that expectation can sometimes put a bit too much pressure on the average casual conversation. Many introverts decide that it’s best to simply stay patient in social conversations, and wait for the times when they find someone who is interested in talking about the things that make them tick. We never know where a conversation will lead until we try, so it’s important for introverts to make somewhat regular efforts to stay involved and join social gatherings.
When introverts socialize, they’re not just looking for a way to pass the time. They usually have busy schedules, a full list of hobbies and interests, and limited hours in the day to enjoy them all. But they are often looking for new people with whom they can share their passions and interests, and with whom they can make a deep and heartfelt connection with. Introverts know that sharing love and kindness with others is a wonderful way to use their energy, and this type of interaction tends to hold great value to them.
It’s important for introverts to remember that there are also many other kind and wonderful people just like you out there who are looking to socialize and engage in deep and meaningful conversations, while respecting each other’s emotional needs and energy boundaries. Occasionally take some time to go out and find those people with whom you feel comfortable and passionate to talk to. They are also looking for you.
The bottom line is that introverts are not anti-social, strange nor do they dislike people. They are just caring souls who spend a great deal of time maintaining healthy emotional states and levels of energy, and need groups and friends who can engage in deep and meaningful conversations with them. They dislike small talk and discussing matters not related to the heart. In our culture extroversion is regarded as the norm, and it makes it challenging for the many wonderful and great introverts out there who have a lot to offer. While seeming reserved or shy, they are some of the most lovable, loyal and caring people you can meet.
Have a beautiful day.
You are loved.