You might have thought that anger management is only for people who are constantly filled with rage or are inclined to inappropriately lash out at others. However, anger is a very real and natural emotion that we all experience. Everyone could use a little help recognizing the signs of anger and how to healthily deal with it. We need to learn how to calm down without repressing our feelings, and to understand how we can express these feelings in a healthy and constructive way.

Here are a few tips that you can use to help the next time you feel any level of anger:

1. Look For A Productive Outlet For Your Anger

When we experience anger, it’s tempting to obsess about and to overthink the situation. This pattern tends to only escalate the feelings of anger and can turn them into rage or fury. Rather than focusing on the problem, try and consciously turn your focus to an instant and non-violent solution that you can use to immediately resolve the anger.

For example if your friend or partner has done something that hurt you, before getting enraged, pause, take a deep breath, and really consider how the two of you can work through this situation in a constructive way. Begin by following the 4 steps of Non-Violent Communication; Observation, Feeling, Need, Request. Express what you observe happening in a non-judgmental and non-critical way. Then say how that makes you feel, and use an actual feeling, not an idea. Then express to them what your need is underneath this feeling; for example, “When I notice you arriving one hour late for our dinner date, I feel hurt, because I need to know that you prioritize the time we spend together. Then follow this up with a request; “Would you be willing to make a greater effort to meet me on time in the future?” This form of communication allows you to express your actual feeling and need, rather than getting angry at the person you love. You can express to each other your feelings rationally and learn how to work it out in the future.

If it isn’t possible to find a calming means of communication to relieve your anger, then try new ways to let out your frustrations in a productive way, also known as sublimation, where angry impulses can be turned into something harmless and healthy for you. Physical exercise is a great way to do this; jogging, weight lifting, yoga, even listening to music. These are effective ways to healthily manage anger.

2. Cure Resentment With Forgiveness

It may seem counterproductive for us to forgive our offenders when we are still in the heat of our anger, but it is the most mature and beneficial to ourselves. Allowing another person to be the cause for our anger and our discontent ends up giving them power over our emotions. This can actually be more aggravating than the circumstance itself. No one is in charge of our feelings but ourselves, and it’s possible to manage our minds and our feelings in any circumstance.

It may help to think about it like this: staying angry at someone allows them to have that type of power over your thoughts and feelings. When you open and soften inside, and move towards forgiveness, this hold is released on you and you’re able to let go and gain the wonderfully feeling freedom that it brings.

Often times other people are not actually trying to anger us, and it’s very important to remember this. We may have had difficult experiences in the past with a parent, sibling or stranger that causes us to feel angry in the moment and to react easily, but it’s vital to remember that this person is neither the person from your past, nor are they likely trying to actually upset you.

If they are indeed trying to get a rise out of you, then often the best thing you can do is simply walk away and do not participate in conversing with someone who desires to see you suffer. You’ll thank yourself later for this act of maturity.

3. Use Relaxation Techniques

Deep breathing exercises and “relaxing imagery” are some of the relaxation techniques that are recommended by the American Psychological Association. These relaxation techniques are useful in managing your feelings of anger. Relaxing imagery works by concentrating your mind to visualize a space of peace, or somewhere you feel happy, and then feeling those good feelings that come with it. You can also visualize the situation working out in a healthy and peaceful manner, and having this positive focus can help the situation manifest.

When you combine deep breathing exercise with positive imagery, the results are more effective. Relax your mind and your senses by inhaling slowly and deeply from your diaphragm. Your tense muscles will start to relax and this is a great time to think positively and to focus on what will help you to feel good. During this practice, you are free from anger and your mind is focused on being productive.

4. Rely On Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is a process of changing your perception of a certain negative situation into a more constructive form. For example, let’s say you encounter a problem at work; a co-worker who is making things difficult for you. You may be tempted to think negatively about this co-worker, wondering, “What is their problem…why are they always doing abc…” But this negative line of thinking often feeds the feelings of anger and frustration, the opposite of what we are trying to achieve.

By practicing cognitive restructuring, we replace the negative dialogue with more rational and calming ones, such as, “Their behavior is not in my control, there’s no point in getting upset over what I can’t control,” and, “If I keep calm and focus on my own work, both of us will be in a better position.” Within the daily little things, this attitude can greatly help us stay focused, and keep calm in challenging circumstances.

5. Become A Better Listener

Being a good listening is a very important skill in terms of anger management. Why? Because when we are able to listen well to another, we often can enhance and promote healthy communication with the other who we are having the issue with. Compassion is born from understanding each other’s needs, and the only way to understand, is to really listen to their side of the story.

To become a better listener, practice being an active listener. Don’t interrupt the other when they are talking, reflect back what you hear them saying so they know you are understanding them and they ‘feel heard.’ This reduces the chances of misunderstandings happening and fosters empathy. It also alleviates the tension and buildup of anger, which usually occurs when both people feel the other is not listening to them. Be serious about listening to the other and understanding what they are saying, and you’ve already solved half of the problem.

If the person is being abusive either through language or physical action, then this is not a time to listen to them, but rather the time to end the conversation and walk away and to protect your feelings.

6. Use Peaceful Music For Anger Management

Have you ever had the experience of being upset, angry, or sad, and then you hear a certain song, and a wave of peace fills you? There are actually many peaceful songs that have been proven to relieve stress and to reduce anxiety, and the same is true for anger.

If you begin to get angry and need to let off some steam, take a few minutes to yourself and put on the headphones, and listen to some calming waves, some peaceful rainforest sounds, some light flutes playing by a river, and notice if your feelings don’t become a bit lighter. Music is an incredible resource for helping feelings to relax.

Source

In 1983, Dr. Howard Gardner developed the Theory of Multiple Intelligences. He suggests that using IQ as a single basis of intelligence is too restrictive because each person is gifted with their own unique qualities and talents. Some people have difficulty with Math but excel in Fine Arts. Some people are not competitive athletes, but they excel in analytics. There are a variety of levels of intelligence, and they are not limited to basic standardized testing.




Each person varies in different areas of intelligence, but everyone is a genius in their own area. As one of the most intelligent humans to have walked the Earth, Albert Einstein, said, “Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Everyone has specific areas of high intelligence which they can use to accomplish incredible things in life. The first step is identifying and finding out which area of intelligence best describes you. Discovering this helps us to understand our individual learning mechanisms and can help us to reach our goals in life.

Of the The 9 Types Of Multiple Intelligences, Which Type Of “Smart” Are You?

Logical Reasoning – Logic Smart

Being logically smart is an advantage when you’re in school. People who belong to this category of intelligence are good in “deductive reasoning”. You’re logically smart if you have notable skills in calculating and solving problems, classification, experimentation, and have a good eye for detail. Playing mind games such as sudoku, chess, and engaging in mathematical sequences and patterns help develop your logical reasoning skills.

People who are logically smart belong in highly analytical careers such as being a Scientist, Accountant, Inventor, and Programmer. Some famous people we know today who are logically smart are Bill Gates and Stephen Hawking.

Verbal Linguistic – Word Smart

If you are good with using your words and grammar within the realm of communication, then you might be a verbal linguistic genius. Reading, writing, listening, and speaking are some of your best skills. You also have a knack of learning other languages easily. Along with being logically smart, being word smart is considered an advantage in school. Reading books, writing essays, playing word games, and participating in speaking contests or debates are some activities that improve and support your skills as a verbal linguist. Lawyers, public speakers and writers belong in this category.

J.K. Rowling, who is widely known for her Harry Potter book series has this type of intelligence. Another known verbal linguistic genius is Martin Luther King Jr, one of the greatest activists and civil rights leaders of our time.

Visual Spatial – Picture Smart

People who are visually smart pursue careers in designing, architecture, fashion, and computer technology. When you have creative talent, you’re considered visually smart. You have skills in drawing, designing, and you can usually create in form what you’re able to visualize in your mind. In school, you associate what you learn with pictures and visual aids.

The renowned painter, Salvador Dali, had the visual spatial intelligence. iPhone designer Steve Jobs belongs in this field too.

Bodily Kinesthetic – Body Smart

As you may have already guessed, this intelligence involves a lot of physical movement. Actors and dancers like Michael Jackson have the skills to manipulate their body to the rhythm, which complimented his incredible musical ability. You are considered body smart when you are athletic and have a well-coordinated body. You associate what you learn through body movements. You’d rather be active than sit all day.

Aside from being a dancer and an actor, people who have this kind of intelligence pursue careers that involve a lot of physical movement. Athletes, gym instructors, and even construction workers. Arnold Schwarzeneggar is a Body Smart genius, as he won the Mr. Olympia for bodybuilding title a staggering 7 times, and later became a world famous actor and inspiration for those in the physical fitness community.

Auditory-Musical – Sound Smart

Some people study and enjoy the simple things in life while listening to music. For them, it helps retain the information they read in books, and also helps them enjoy life. If you are musically inclined, as in you integrate music into everything you do, then you are considered sound smart. You use music to understand, and have even thought about or pursued writing, performing and singing songs.

Composers such as Mozart had this kind of intelligence. Modern artists who write and compose their own songs such as Alicia Keys and Sam Smith also belong in this category.

Interpersonal – People Smart

If you have a general charisma and good people skills, then you might possess an interpersonal intelligence. You like talking to people, listening to their stories, engaging in social events, and taking place in activities that value teamwork. You are great at leading people and relating to them. Aside from being a fantastic talker, you also know how to listen and to reflect back the right words to people.

If you’re people smart, a career as a teacher, counselor, business consultant, social worker, and politician would suit you well. Some famous Interpersonal geniuses are Dr. Phil, Mother Teresa, and Oprah Winfrey.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BgVR-tLADFI/?taken-by=understanding_compassion

Intrapersonal – Self Smart

While some people are skilled at socializing, there are also people who work better and achieve more when they are alone. They know themselves better than most and are often very independent. They don’t have to thrive in a group to achieve their goals. To cultivate their intrapersonal intelligence, they put themselves in other people’s shoes to understand their perspectives, and they also keep a daily journal and read self-help books.

Psychologists, philosophers, therapists and poets are highly gifted in terms of intrapersonal intelligence. The philosopher Aristotle, as well as the compassionate leader Gandhi belong to this group of intrapersonal intelligence, as well as does Hellen Keller.

Naturalistic – Nature Smart

There have been nature shows about dog and cat whisperers, crocodile hunters, and people who take care of domestic or wild animals for a living. They have the skills to calm and tame wild animals that other people find hard to accomplish. They have a natural connection to the Earth, love working outside, and spend as much time as possible outdoors.

If you always connect to nature related activities easily and often find your strength related to working with nature and/or animals, then you are nature smart. Your hobbies and interests always have something to do with nature: fishing, bird watching, or taking care of pets. Naturalists blend with the outdoors, and veterinarians, zookeepers, and conservationists are all nature smart. Some known naturalists are Steve Irwin, Sir David Attenborough, and Gregor Mendel.

Existential – Spirit Smart

Do you ask complex questions about your existence? Your purpose in this world? Who you really are? If you do, then you might be an existentialist – or have a high spiritual intelligence. You have the aura of someone who has found peace within himself. While scholars are hesitant to acknowledge this type of intelligence in order to keep church and the state separate, it is still a valid area of intelligence similar to the area of intuition.

A person who finds more meaning in the pursuit of self-understanding rather than acquiring material possessions is spirit smart. They often spend time in meditation and prayer. Monks, shamans, philosophers, clergymen, and psychics are considered existentialists. Some known existentialists are Buddha, Lao Tzu, and Joan of Arc.

You are Loved.

Source:
The Theory Of Multiple Intelligences By Howard Gardner